2025-07-30_“feminist” men

being/becoming a “feminist man” is (supposed to be) hard. just as, for example, becoming an “anti-rascist white person” or “class traitor” is (supposed to be) hard. all of these processes require considerable and consistent divestment from and disidentification with a hegemonic position of power in social relations.

since gender, race and class are connected but not the same, that process of divestment and disidentification is going to look different for different category constellations. but here i want to touch specifically on the case of gender and “men” and what “disidentification” means. what does disidentification from patriarchy mean for “men”? i’m afraid to say the meaning might be quite literal. to divest from and disidentify with the hegemonic position of power under patriarchy, one cannot be a (patriarchal) man. and while patriarchal is in parentheses in the previous sentence, it is very much a critical term. because if feminisms have taught us anything, it should be that gender is not essential. “man” and “patriarchal man” do not mean the same thing in all cases.

but to keep it real: they do in many cases. just like it’s not all men, but pretty much always men.

so let’s stay with the trouble for a bit. as of now, being/becoming a “feminist man” might mean barely being a man at all, under patriarchy that is. if you’re a man, you might not be “feminist” if you’re comfortable calling yourself that and identifying with masculinity at the same time. of course it always depends on what kind(s) of masculinity you’re identifying with. but keeping it real again: very few of you have taken the time or even have the capacities to critically reflect the whole extent of your male privileges and subsequently act to dismantle them. if more of you did, we wouldn’t be needing to have this discussion.

so for now let me suggest this: if you think of yourself as a “feminist man”, want to become one, or are asking yourself if the man before, next or around you is one, i again offer you this cautious/cautionary reminder: as of now, being/becoming a “feminist man” might mean barely being a man at all.